Coach4LifeChange

Play Your Way to Better Health

JanetEisenbise — Fri, 03 Sep 2010 15:03:47 +0000

This is Labor Day weekend and I have taken several days to get out of town and spend it with family. A change of scene and routine is good for the psyche and the soul. And hanging out with people I love is the magic elixir.

When I was a child I used to ask my mother what we were going to do for Labor Day. Her reply was always, “More labor I suppose.” I remember feeling disappointed. I knew that most people would be playing and I wanted to do that too.

Of course I had no perspective that for a woman who was a mother of five and a teacher as well, that there would be no end to the work involved. And even though my life circumstances are different, nearly constant working is a hard habit to break.

Apparently I am not alone. Many of the folks I work with describe a similar sort of thing. Work in the workplace and more work at home. Even the effort that it takes to get children to seemingly endless organized sports and lessons becomes a part of a work routine that “has to be done.”

When I asked Ellen what she does for fun, she looked startled, fell silent and eventually said, “I have no idea.” For several weeks we revisited the question and when I last checked, she still had not discovered the answer.

For starters we could consider a definition of play: an activity that exists solely for its own purposes and has rules that can be spontaneous and flexible. Of course we could take an activity that COULD be fun and stiffen it up with rules and a big dose of perfectionism and turn it into more work.

So what is the big deal about play? Well it’s good for your health for one thing. I would venture to say that a good laugh, “lightening up” with some good humor and imaginative play will energize as it delights you.

This weekend I am playing with my granddaughter. We are having a pretty hilarious time. If you have forgotten how to play, hang out with a child. Borrow one if you must. They will remind you of how it’s done.

One way or the other, I hope that this weekend you will make it a priority to step out of work mode and spend some time playing.

The Power of Gratitude

JanetEisenbise — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 00:34:42 +0000

White Iris

It may seem to be a paradox that we work on meeting goals in order to change lives and at the same time aim to be happy and contented now. Look ahead to the life we intend to create, while being mindful and present to where we are right now.

It is easy to fall into the trap of complaint, criticism and discontent when we compare where we are with where we wish to be. I was listening to John talk about the financial mess that he faced in the aftermath of a bad relationship. He was looking at a large credit card debt that he and his girlfriend had accumulated as well as loans that he had given her which he would likely never see returned.

It was quite a pile of rubble that was left from the choices that he had made, and he sorely regretted having made them. He was going to have to take some drastic measures to prevent even further losses since paying his mortgage and a car payment was difficult. And the creditors were calling.

As you might expect, he was feeling sad, angry and afraid. And it didn’t help that he was continually berating himself for being so stupid as to have gotten into the situation. He was deeply ashamed.

You might wonder if John would have to wait to feel better until after he had met his goals of cleaning up his debt and getting back on his feet again. The answer is no. And if he continues to berate himself and cause more internal negativity, achieving anything is going to be extremely difficult, if not impossible.

Here is where the power of gratitude comes in. Paying attention to what is going right in your life makes all the difference. And yes, no matter how huge the pile of rubble from the past is, there are things to be grateful for. This may sound too optimistic to be believed, but bear with me.

If you are willing to be mindful of what is present to you NOW, you may notice small but important things that you have tuned out as you worry and stew. It may be the beauty of nature, or the existence of your life and health. Perhaps the kindness of someone you encounter, or some quality within you that you appreciate. If you look and are willing to ask, there is help at hand, and we can always be grateful for that.

The “first aid” assignment that I gave John was to write a gratitude list every day, preferably at the beginning and end of the day. After awakening, he was asked to think about those things and to breathe deeply and to FEEL gratitude. He could observe that he felt more energetic and happy and that getting on with the tasks of the day was much easier.

This has been a spiritual discipline of mine for many years, and I recommend it to you. Something simple yet powerful, expressing gratitude shifts our thoughts to the positive. And since we become what we think about most, and bring into being what our thoughts are focused on, it can be a small step that will change your life.

Don’t Put It Off

JanetEisenbise — Tue, 31 Aug 2010 00:00:35 +0000

With all this talk about goals, it occurs to me that we may fall into a trap of waiting to be happy UNTIL we meet the goal. You know, something like “When I get to my ideal weight (or find my mate, or buy the new car…) then I will be happy.”

My question is why put it off?

According to the Law of Attraction, we are constantly putting out a vibrational frequency that varies with the thoughts that we have. And we are constantly receiving vibrations of that same frequency that gives us the results that we experience.

So if I am moping because of a disappointment in my progress, then I am putting out a low vibration and am going to be feeling lousy because I am focused on the LACK of what I want. And then I am going to get more of the same.

It is natural to feel disappointed. But when you recognize that you are feeling lousy, then it’s important to change that vibrational level by getting refocused on your positive intention.

Revisit your intended outcome by writing about it or by looking at a picture of it. You can draw a picture of it too.
Feel the satisfaction and excitement that comes with experiencing what you want. Yes, do it now.
Change your posture. Stretch, straighten your spine, put your shoulders back and take several deep breaths.
Go for a walk and look around you, gazing out in the distance.
Call or visit someone who is a positive influence and is encouraging and supportive.
Read something inspiring.
Listen to some great music and dance. Yes, turn up the volume and go to town!

In short, be determined to practice feeling great right now! There’s no point in putting it off. Your health and outlook will be brighter and so will your eventual outcome. Feeling good right now will increase your energy and make the attainment of your goals much easier.

Focus On Goals

JanetEisenbise — Mon, 30 Aug 2010 00:00:24 +0000

Recently I returned from a short vacation to Chicago where I had a great time visiting family and being the tourist. Since coming home I have been challenged to get back in the working groove and concentrate on what needs to be done. Do you sometimes have this problem?

When I worked for a large company, my schedule was pretty much determined for me, which in the past was the answer in part to the back-from-vacation-fog. I knew when I had to show up and what was expected of me. And even if my feet were dragging a bit, I DID show up and eventually gained momentum with the job at hand.

But what if you own a business, or what if the goals you are working on aren’t managed by someone else? Then the losses and gains are all yours and the responsibility for them is all yours too.

It occurred to me that although we often hear about “time management,” it really isn’t a problem of time. We all have the same 24 hours and there is nothing we can do to manage that.

I think instead that it is a priority problem. In other words, with the time you have available, what are your priorities with what you get done in it? What is most important? What is less important?

Check out your list of what you desire in your life. (You do have a list, don’t you?) The number one item on your list may be to have a good relationship with your spouse. Or to deepen your spiritual life. Or maybe you want to improve your health by becoming more fit. Or the number one thing on your list may be to increase your income.

Whatever it is, after you identify the thing that is most important to you, check your schedule for the past week or few weeks and see how much time you dedicated to it. Does your schedule reflect your priority?

Maybe more important, how much time were your thoughts focused on this in a positive way? Remember, we become what we think about most of the time!

One way to tell whether you are focused on your goal in a positive way is to observe how you are feeling when you think of them. If you feel good, it’s positive. If you are feeling bad, chances are you are thinking about the LACK of what you desire. And guess what? You will be getting more of that.

A short term goal then would be to feel good every day; focus on what you DO desire and feel good while you do that. Before long, you will be much more aligned in your thoughts, feelings and behaviors and bringing to yourself exactly what you desire.

Goals In Late Summer

JanetEisenbise — Wed, 25 Aug 2010 00:45:17 +0000

Here we are in late summer, a season unto itself according to Chinese medicine. We are having a most welcome reprieve from the heat and humidity that felt so suffocating.

I notice that while the leaves have not started turning, some of them have started falling down when a gust of wind blows. The peaches are hanging heavy on the trees, and the gardens are in their glory.

With all this lush bounty, there is a paradoxical feeling that it is going to come to a rapid end. The days are getting shorter, and impending change is in the air.

For me this sense has probably been heightened by my return from a short vacation to Chicago to visit family. Stepping (or more accurately, flying) out of the routines of my usual life and then returning to it makes this seasonal shift more apparent to me. To literally “vacate” one’s life and then return to it makes one more aware of it.

The harvest of the summer is in full bore right now. Which makes me think about the harvest of my own efforts over the past months. I have heard other people comment about what they had hoped to accomplish over the summer, so apparently I’m not alone.

I invite you to take stock with me. We are past the mid-point of the year, and you may look at where you are in terms of the hopes and goals that you set back in January. Where ever that is, you can take advantage of the natural season and make today count.

Avoid the perfectionistic tendency to criticize, and instead focus on the possibilities of small and meaningful steps that you can take today. You are not too late for harvest; in fact you’re just in time.

A Question about the Law of Attraction

JanetEisenbise — Wed, 18 Aug 2010 02:00:22 +0000

Have you heard of the Law of Attraction and tried to put it to use in your life? Have you gotten frustrated and decided that it didn’t work? Or that there was some secret ingredient that was left out and you were out of the loop? I know that I have.

Recently I came across something that shed a light on my frustrations. I hope it will be helpful to you too.

You may remember that the first key to change is to decide clearly what you desire, and to intend that change to occur in your life.

· Write down what you desire, either in detailed or generalized terms, utilizing the left side of the brain.

· Either draw or cut out a picture of this desired change to engage the right side of the brain.

· Determine the emotions that you desire and as you imagine this change as if it already has occurred, feel the feelings fully! As you do this you are experiencing the high vibration of happiness, peace, contentment, etc.

· Maintain it for as long as you can. When it wanes or you get into your old habits of thought and feeling, observe yourself and go back to what you DO desire and intend.

So what may be getting in your way? What is interfering with your practice? Do you get off the path and soon find yourself back to where you started, feeling pessimistic and doubtful?

This is what is likely happening. Your conscious mind only knows what you have already experienced. When you go back to your old perspective of negativity and low vibration, your brain is sending out a vibration (and message, if you will) that is contrary to the new one that you intend.

In other words, you are essentially in an argument with yourself. And you are sending out conflicting frequencies that cancel out what you desire. Part A: “I intend to dissolve my debt as quickly as possible.” Part B: “I have always been lousy at managing my money, and will never get out of debt!” After all, you have lots of evidence of the latter, and don’t have a clue as to HOW you might achieve the former.

Here’s a suggestion: for the time being, don’t worry or concern yourself with HOW you will achieve your dream. Just focus on the feeling of WHY you desire it and what it will feel like when you do. Keep your vibration HIGH.

Focus on practicing this for 30 days. It takes about that long to establish a new neuropathways. You may trust that HOW to do things will begin eventually to occur to you. For the time being just practice raising the vibration level of the thoughts that your brain is putting out there. Remember, as Einstein said, “Thoughts are things.”

And that we cannot transmit and receive frequencies of different levels of vibration. In other words, I cannot transmit the low frequencies of doubt and dread and receive a high frequency of health and happiness.

And as Earl Nightingale said, “We become what we think about most of the time.” It pays to pay attention to your thoughts! And to take action if they are NOT what you intend to become!

Law of Attraction Basics

JanetEisenbise — Mon, 16 Aug 2010 01:37:47 +0000

“But the brain is wired with both a positive and negative motivational system,
and satisfaction and desire demand keeping the brain’s positive system well-stoked!”
~Psychology Today, “The Expectations Trap”~

Recently I have been listening to a set of CDs about the Law of Attraction. You may have heard of this natural law which was widely exposed in the popular book and movie, “The Secret.” I first came across it in the movie “What the Bleep Do We Know?!” I must say that it was one of those life-changing events because it introduced a whole new paradigm to me. A whole different way of looking at the universe and the way it works.

I have been trying to get my head around it ever since. And fortunately I have been finding more resources in books and the Internet.

You may have heard the buzz about the Law of Attraction and wondered what all the fuss was about. Is it just some new age, airy-fairy gimmick that is much ado about nothing? At first blush that may seem to be the case.

But as you begin to understand that there is a connection between quantum physics, how our brains function and that we are constantly creating our reality, you may snap to attention. I know I did.

It is called a Law because like the Law of Gravity, it is operating and a part of our daily life whether we are aware of it or not. You are a creator and are creating your life, day by day according to those laws. If you judge your life to be lousy and lacking, you have created it to be so. And if you find your life rewarding, fulfilling and satisfying, you have created it in that way. That may sound hair-raising or harsh, but I think it’s the truth.

While I am not presenting myself the best person to explain this, here are the essential principles of the Law of Attraction to keep in mind:

· Everything in the universe is in motion. On am atomic level, everything is vibrating, and all matter which may appear solid is not. Although our senses tell us that we are solid, we are not. Our cells are vibrating at different frequencies, no two human beings exactly alike.

· Seemingly solid matter is affected by simply paying attention to it. Things change on a molecular level when we direct our attention to it. Those molecules begin to move and change.

· Our brains both transmit and receive vibration frequencies all the time. We do this with our thoughts. Einstein said, “Thoughts are things.” Meaning that we are transmitting atomic particles which go through “solid” objects, go around the earth and are received by other human beings. Our unconscious mind is communicating with other unconscious minds all the time. Is this what we call intuition? Is it the ability to tune into some unconscious communication and bring it to conscious awareness?

·   The frequency that we transmit is also the frequency that we receive. Our brain receives the particles like a magnet, and in doing so we experience what the universe has to offer that is of the same frequency that we transmitted.

·   When we are vibrating at a higher frequency, we feel good: optimistic, peaceful, energetic and healthy. When we vibrate at a low frequency we feel low: pessimistic, fatigued, blue, doubtful and lethargic.

·   The patterns of thought have a corresponding biochemical flood of neurotransmitters that become neuropathways. A sort of highway in the brain and body that forms a quick and easy “habit” that we repeat over and over again, sometimes for a lifetime. We can actually become addicted to the neurotransmitters of anger, anxiety, pessimism and sadness, etc.

·   The brain has a lot of plasticity, and we are also able to change these “highways of habit” and build new neuropathways that vibrate at a higher, happier, healthier frequency.

So the bottom line is this: whatever you life is, however you feel about it, take full responsibility for it because you have created it. Consciously and unconsciously you have brought about your experience and your reality according to the Law of Attraction. When we take full responsibility, even when we did not consciously intend to create what we did, we can then be empowered to change! We cannot change what we refuse to own!

We’ll be talking more in posts to come about what to do with this.

In the meantime, I welcome your comments, and everyone will benefit from your input.

Taking the Pressure Off

JanetEisenbise — Wed, 11 Aug 2010 02:07:34 +0000

You may assume that reaching for a life of your dreams involves setting and working on goals. That is a frequent subject of the posts in this blog, as well as many books and seminars related to human development.

In studying and practicing the art of life change, I have frequently heard that being specific about what you desire, and establishing a deadline for when you intend to manifest it, are both essential to success.

The problem is that taken to an extreme, these steps can create a lot of pressure. And the tension that we feel is actually counterproductive. And they are especially so because they begin to create doubt in our belief that we could possibly succeed.
Here are a couple of things to consider:

1. We are notoriously awful at accurately predicting what will bring us happiness. And if, in being specific with descriptive details, we lock ourselves into the one possibility that we can imagine, we are limiting ourselves and eliminating a myriad of other possibilities that we can’t even imagine!

For instance, Joe is looking for a new job. And a friend has told him of a position that has opened up. Joe is excited because it is in his field, pays well and sounds just perfect. He focuses on how much he wants THAT job, and prepares for the interview, hoping and praying that he will get it. In the meantime, there are many other possibilities that he isn’t even aware of because they are “off his radar.”

As it turns out, he doesn’t get the job he hoped for, and he is angry, disappointed and discouraged. After he recovers and is back to working on his goal, visualizing success, feeling positive, he hears someone talking at a party about looking for a contractor to provide technical services. It includes specialized knowledge and a skill set that Joe just acquired through a certification course that he took over a year ago. It pays way more per hour than he has ever received and he has all the equipment he needs to work from home.

Joe is thrilled and amazed at how this opportunity just “fell in his lap.” He’s really happy that he didn’t get that other job!

2. While it is helpful to track the action steps that you take toward a goal, imposing a strict deadline (interesting word, isn’t it? “Dead line”) will limit and inhibit your progress. How? Primarily by creating fear and doubt that you can possibly succeed, which means you are then wasting energy fighting with yourself.

Deciding ahead of time when you will reach that goal is just unrealistic if you have no basis of experience for the steps you are taking. Noting the steps and appreciating yourself every day, and enjoying the process involved will make a big positive difference.

So take the pressure off. Focus on how you feel about achieving the goal. Keep those good vibrations up and keep moving!

The Relationship Mirror

JanetEisenbise — Mon, 09 Aug 2010 09:00:47 +0000

If you ask most people to make a list of what they desire in life, the top item on the list is better relationships. Or in some cases, just having a close relationship.

It seems that as a species, we make lousy hermits. In order to be healthy, we need connection with others. On a deep psychological and spiritual level we need to be seen, recognized and validated by the witness that only other human beings can provide.

I once heard a psychologist say that he thought the most important value of long term relationships was having someone else be witness to your life. Families provide that for each other, as do marriages and life-long friendships.

Perhaps we put too much pressure on ourselves and others to have top quality (whatever that means), conflict-free relationships. As a culture we certainly have idealized the romantic model as the yardstick of whether our marriages are good ones. And anyone who has kept a marriage together for over five years knows this is impossible.

We may also be disappointed when our family relationships bear little resemblance to the Walton’s. And when conflicts arise, as they inevitably will, we are distressed, angry and resentful. And perhaps feeling alienated.

I think the truth is that any family has a mixture of the dark and the light. Those qualities that we dislike and don’t want to acknowledge and those that we do. They also are a mix of strengths and weaknesses that play out in patterns that come down through the generations. Since we unconsciously choose our mates to meet our as yet unmet and unhealed needs, we then replicate the patterns despite our best intentions. And then are bewildered by it.

So here’s the gift if you can see it and are willing to “unwrap” it, look inside and make use of it. Those people, friends, spouses, siblings, parents, etc., who annoy and frustrate you the most are providing a mirror for you. Think about this. Those qualities that you can’t abide in another human, are qualities lying inside yourself that you are afraid to acknowledge or dislike the most.

If this weren’t so, you wouldn’t be feeling so judgmental and annoyed by them.

I know this sounds like bad news. So why would I call this a “gift”? Because it is an opportunity to learn more about who YOU really are, and to either make some changes or to accept yourself and come to peace.

As soon as you can recognize that your conflict is most essentially with yourself, you can figure out pretty quickly how to take the pressure off the other person. You can lower your expectations that s/he should change and perhaps just accept them for who they are.

Maybe you could even take stock of their strengths, and focus on what benefits they might bring to the relationship with you. There is something that you are supposed to learn from them, and you will lessen the conflict when you can see what that is.

See guest post @ http://tinyur…

JanetEisenbise — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 16:40:38 +0000

See guest post @ http://tinyurl.com/2f2kzju