“And now here is my secret, a very simple secret:  It is only
with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential
is invisible to the eye.”
~Antoine de Sainte-Exupery~

Fall is around the corner and wherever you live, you are probably aware of the changes that are underway.  Most of us in the developed world, ever more engaged in technology, may live in ways that seem disconnected from nature.  But of course we are not.

After all we are animals, and our lives are just as dependent and intertwined with the natural world as the migrating birds, butterflies and squirrels. The trees outside my window are beginning to drop their leaves, even though just a few of the outer branches have begun to change color.  They have served their purpose for the growing season, and are no longer needed.

There’s a clue in that for us I think.  Our lives have seasons of development and growth, as well as periods of rest and renewal.  What is valuable, necessary and useful in one season is not in another.  There are parallels in human life to those leaves which once were green, verdant and vital but then turn color and are dropped to the ground.

We may be tempted to hang onto them out of sentiment or not notice that they are no longer useful to us.  Sometimes we are oblivious to what is going on right under our very noses!  Or inside our minds and hearts, for that matter.  Practicing mindfulness will tune you in to the immediacy of your state of mind and how your body feels as well as what is going on around you.

When you do, you can ask yourself what is valuable to you right now and what is not.  It is important to ask yourself questions about what you want in your life and what kind of human being you intend to be.  After all we are always in the process of Becoming, as Carl Rogers, humanistic psychologist, put it.  And what was gold in your life 10 or 20 years ago might have turned to lead today.

Be discerning.  That is what the energy of fall is all about.  Assessing and clearing out is essential to the seasons of growth ahead.  And what we are shedding and discarding may take on new usefulness and form, just as it does in nature.  The dropped leaves become fertilizer for the plants and the tree’s growth in seasons to come.  The dropped acorns feed animals and become the seed of new generations of trees.

If the lead in your life is in the form of an old negative pattern of thought and behavior, it is possible to release and replace it.  You may quit making excuses for it and enjoy the gold of new patterns that will move you ahead in the life you desire.  If it takes the form of old clothing, papers, books or other possessions, you can donate or recycle them and others will benefit too.

As you proceed in your sorting, discarding and organizing, you will notice a renewed energy within you.  You will open up some space for being, thinking and creating.  New inspiration will come as well as new insight.  It’s okay to miss what is missing, although I doubt that you will grieve long.  You may feel the need for rest and renewal (just as nature does) while you appreciate the beauty and tune into the messages of what new gold your life requires.

“Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart.
Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.”
~Carl Jung~

We live in a world where our attention is always in demand.  My email program has ads running at the top, on the sides, some of them moving and some flashing.  We are constantly checking our phones, looking to see who is calling or texting.  Reading new email messages that come in, searching for directions or looking for bargains and making restaurant reservations.  We are reading books or playing Angry Birds, listening to music or processing some kind of information nearly constantly.

The images that flash past us are a more rapid version of images that we are very familiar with from the movies, television and magazines.  With them we begin to piece together the “ideal” life.  Pictures of what we are supposed to look like, feel like, and what our lifestyles should be.

It may be the woman in the pencil skirt and jacket, holding a briefcase, hailing a cab on a busy city street. Or a man leading a business meeting in a corporate board room.  Then an image of both of them, handsome and beautiful, with the requisite 2.5 children and the golden retriever, relaxing in their beautifully appointed home.

Most of us have a nagging sense of uneasiness when we look at them.  Even though we have bought into the underlying message and are busily buying the products that ostensibly got them this ideal life.

The goals you have set for your life may be possibly heavily influenced by these messages and pictures.  Your notion of success, in other words, may possibly be dictated by all those bits of information streaming through your day.  Are you fully conscious of them?  Do you stop to ask what values they express?  Have you ever turned everything off and sat in the silence by yourself?

For some that is an outlandish and frightening idea.  On those occasions when I suggest it, I often get a reply that “Someone may be trying to contact me!”  Yes, Someone is.  Mother Culture is whispering in your ear.

The problem is not that you want to be a success.  After all, my work has been dedicated to helping people build happier lives by removing the impediments of beliefs and behaviors which are blocking them.  I’m enthusiastically all for success!  But you cannot find the answers to that from your Blackberry or Madison Avenue.  It’s not possible to find the perfect man/ woman/ child/ career/ bank account/ social group/ Jimmy Choo shoes that will fix it for you.

What I would like to say is that what determines your success has to begin with a deep understanding of who you are.  And this is an ongoing process that will continue throughout your life span.  In other words, it is never completed.  Until your life on earth is completed, and who knows?  Maybe not even then.

As Carl Jung points out, we must look inward (search our hearts) to see enough to take the journey ahead.  We must discover what matters most to us, what our passions are, what our strengths and our weaknesses are.  How have we created the life we already have?  And that means being brave enough to tolerate being in the shadows, feeling scared, vulnerable and uncertain.

The ego loves being certain, right and righteous!  In some sense, it’s much easier to avoid the “abyss” and endlessly look to those people and things that “should” make us happy and feel safe.  And when they don’t, criticizing and blaming them and going off to look for the “right” person or the next thing.

That is how many live their lives.  And certainly they have a right to do that.  Personally, I believe that while they avoid the “abyss” by avoiding the hard questions and the silence and space that is required to hear answers, the mysteries still await them.  And they will bumble around, running into walls until they must stop because their energies or bodies are exhausted.

I would like to invite you to do the work that is at times daunting, but ultimately inspiring, energizing and meaningful.  There are resources, people, tools and signs along the road that will point the way.  And you can develop your innate intuition; learn to listen to that still, small, voice to design your own success and the life that you desire.

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It was the news of the earthquake in Christchurch, New Zealand that started it.  Learning of the disaster rang a personal note because I have some virtual friends there running a company that I am affiliated with.  Thankfully they were safe, but the pictures they sent, as well as the ones in the news, told the story of their devastation and obvious distress.

After that came a string of stories from the uprisings in Africa and the Middle East, and the unimaginable disaster and losses in Japan.  On my way to book group, I turned on the radio and heard that we were bombing Libya to enforce a no-fly zone.  Capped off later with a story of young soldiers having a court-martial for killing civilians and posing with them as big game animals.  Have we lost our collective minds?!

My own mind is the only one I can do anything about, and by this time I noticed that I was clearly feeling gloomy and pessimistic.  Irritable and with low energy.  I was having trouble being productive and keeping focused.  No doubt about it, I was suffering from stress.

The meeting of the meditation circle couldn’t have been better timed.  As I sat and began to quiet myself, I wondered what I needed to do.  Later, it occurred to me that I needed to follow Dr. Andrew Weil’s sage advice and go on a news diet.   In fact, I would go on a news fast.

My next thought was, “Can I do it?”  After all, my radio comes on in the morning with Morning Edition on NPR.  And sometimes before going to bed I turn on local weather and news to see what the next day might bring.  My weekend mornings find me listening to Weekend Edition and if I’m not working in the evenings, to All Things Considered.  While I spare myself the drama and stories told in soundbites on TV network news,  I have to admit I am a news junkie.

And like any junkie, going cold turkey seemed tough and a tad unnerving.  And so, copping more advice from the recovery movement, I decided that I would just focus on abstaining from the news one day at a time.

On the first morning the house seemed too quiet, and so I dug out my collection of music which I rarely hear, and began playing them one by one.  That was enjoyable and since I like to listen while I write, very pleasant.  I came across a couple of discs that will have to go, so weeding them out and organizing them as I go will also fulfill a double purpose of clearing out clutter.

At the end of the first day, I was feeling better.  The next morning I decided to continue my news abstinence.  Today marks a full week of my news recovery.  My mood has improved, and my energy level and focus is much better.  At some point I am sure that I will listen to the news again.  But the experience of going on a news fast has made me more aware of how being inundated with bad news on a daily basis is stressful, and that stress certainly has a negative effect on body, mind and spirit.  It’s good to find a way to cope.

“Live out of your imagination, not your history.”     ~Stephen Covey~

There is something about the beginning of January that naturally encourages looking ahead.  Whether you a a person who deliberately plans for the year or not, most likely you have had at least one conversation about it by now.  If you have been reading my blog for awhile, you won’t be surprised to see that I have been asking my clients about this all week.

I admit it:  I am a Goals Missionary.  Or maybe a really annoying Think About Your Purpose in Life evangelist.  Almost everyone is at least polite in their responses.  I haven’t seen any actual eye rolling.  A few have firmly denied that they even want to go there with me.  Most will agree to spend part of our time talking about the possibilities for the year ahead and what they envision for themselves.  Rarely has anyone written it down.

Have you?  I want to suggest that there is a lot of power in the written word.  And I don’t mean it in the usual English major sense of that phrase.  I mean that the just the act of writing down what you want increases the ability to turn that desire into an intention.  And it greatly increases the chance that you will bring it into being.

By the same token, writing down your gratitude or appreciation is more effective than just ticking off the list in your mind.  And not surprisingly feeling grateful makes it much easier to manifest more positives in your life.

If you are willing to write down what you imagine to be your ideal life, and then to write down what elements you are noticing are already present and feel grateful for them, it becomes easier to stay tuned to those positives, rather than the dim disappointments of your past.

This certainly is not the full monty of goal setting.  But it is the spirit that will motivate you, elevate your mood and your optimism and will certainly lead to inspired action.  Try it and see if you don’t agree with me.  As always, I love your comments and everyone else benefits from your thoughts and experiences.

“In the universe there is an immeasurable, indescribable force which shamans call intent, and absolutely everything that exists in the entire cosmos is attached to intent by a connecting link.”         ~Carlos Castaneda

Now that fall is officially here, I am hearing from some folks that they are feeling the seasonal effects.  The high “fire” energy of summer is waning, and the more reflective “metal” energy is taking its place.  We feel the change in daylight and the cooling of temperatures that occurs in parts of the world.

And yet here we are in the last quarter of the year and we may also be feeling the pressure to get a lot of work done because the end of the year is fast approaching, and we may have miles to go before we meet the goals that we set.

What do you do when you feel some urgency for pushing toward your goals but are running out of gas?  If you have set goals, then reaching them must be important to you.  Try these steps:

• Take pen in hand and ask yourself WHY you want to reach that goal.  Write what occurs to you.
  
• If you journal, go back and find entries that pertain to reaching that goal.
• Notice the emotions that fueled your desire in the first place.  What will it FEEL LIKE to have attained the goal?
• Allow yourself to really FEEL the emotions of attaining that goal.  Don’t wait!  Practice feeling them now!
• Set a clear INTENTION right now to achieve that goal.  This is very different than just WANTING something that the goal might offer.

For instance I may WANT to get out of debt.  I may be worried about the debt, complaining about how unfair it is that I have the debt, feeling hampered by the debt and deeply regretting incurring the debt.  I may be whining to beat the band, but not doing a thing about it except maybe daydreaming about winning the lottery.

But if I INTEND to get out of debt, something clearly is going to shift.  My emotions change.  My focus changes.  I am determined to do this, even if I don’t clearly know how to do it yet.  Instead of whining and being hopeless and helpless, if I affirm my intention, tools and helpers will begin to occur to me.  In turn my behaviors are going to change from spending mode to saving and paying my bills on time mode.  If I can practice feeling and affirming my intention every day, sooner or later I will accomplish that goal and be out of debt.

Whether we have personal goals, or business goals or relationship goals, we can fuel ourselves in reaching them by clarifying and affirming our intentions to do so.

Photo by Amy Rizzo 2010, All rights reserved

In the five element healing tradition, fall is represented by metal, and the function associated with it is sorting out what is of value and what is not.  We have just passed the vernal equinox, so it’s officially fall now.  Hard to believe that we are down to the last 100 days of the year.

Although there is no bad time to think about your values and how you are using them to build your life, fall seems the perfect time to do this.  If you live in my neck of the woods, you can see that Mother Nature is doing the same; the old leaves, which served an important function during spring and summer, are starting to turn and fall off the trees.

Take a look around you.  Take a peek at your desk top and your inbox.  If you are like me, you may have a stack of papers or emails that you might “get around to” at some point, that are taking up space and providing distraction.  Periodically it helps to turn on the shredder and clear off the desk.  I also recently went through email and unsubscribed to a dozen lists.  There’s nothing wrong with them.  It’s just that I don’t want to spend all that time reading newsletters or wading through an inbox thinking that some day I will take time to read them.  As they age, I probably won’t.

Does the content of your storage spaces, your closets, drawers, book cases and files really reflect what is important to you?  Do those contents serve your creative or your business or family life? Or are they jammed with things that are from your past life or with items that you once thought seemed like a good idea, but that you have never really put to use?

Don’t hang on to them thinking that maybe some day you will use them. if you haven’t used them in the past year, you probably won’t.  Donate them so that someone else will benefit.  Or sell them in a consignment shop and use the money for some constructive purpose.  Recycle the things that don’t fit either category.

In this process, notice that the things you keep and live with reflect what is important to you.  Make sure that those items are truly speaking the truth about what you value.

You may assume that reaching for a life of your dreams involves setting and working on goals.  That is a frequent subject of the posts in this blog, as well as many books and seminars related to human development.

In studying and practicing the art of life change, I have frequently heard that being specific about what you desire, and establishing a deadline for when you intend to manifest it, are both essential to success.

The problem is that taken to an extreme, these steps can create a lot of pressure.  And the tension that we feel is actually counterproductive.  And they are especially so because they begin to create doubt in our belief that we could possibly succeed.
Here are a couple of things to consider:

1.  We are notoriously awful at accurately predicting what will bring us happiness.  And if, in being specific with descriptive details, we lock ourselves into the one possibility that we can imagine, we are limiting ourselves and eliminating a myriad of other possibilities that we can’t even imagine!

For instance, Joe is looking for a new job.  And a friend has told him of a position that has opened up.  Joe is excited because it is in his field, pays well and sounds just perfect.  He focuses on how much he wants THAT job, and prepares for the interview, hoping and praying that he will get it.  In the meantime, there are many other possibilities that he isn’t even aware of because they are “off his radar.”

As it turns out, he doesn’t get the job he hoped for, and he is angry, disappointed and discouraged.  After he recovers and is back to working on his goal, visualizing success, feeling positive,  he hears someone talking at a party about looking for a contractor to provide technical services.  It includes specialized knowledge and a skill set that Joe just acquired through a certification course that he took over a year ago.   It pays way more per hour than he has ever received and he has all the equipment he needs to work from home.

Joe is thrilled and amazed at how this opportunity just “fell in his lap.”  He’s really happy that he didn’t get that other job!

2.  While it is helpful to track the action steps that you take toward a goal, imposing a strict deadline (interesting word, isn’t it?  “Dead line”) will limit and inhibit your progress.  How?  Primarily by creating fear and doubt that you can possibly succeed, which means you are then wasting energy fighting with yourself.

Deciding ahead of time when you will reach that goal is just unrealistic if you have no basis of experience for the steps you are taking.  Noting the steps and appreciating yourself every day, and enjoying the process involved will make a big positive difference.

So take the pressure off.  Focus on how you feel about achieving the goal.  Keep those good vibrations up and keep moving!

See guest post @ http://tinyurl.com/2f2kzju

Happiness is a by-product of an optimistic view, of doing what is meaningful and most rewarding to you. It does involve a decision.