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Reduce Stress for Better Health

Would you like to ensure your health by reducing your stress level?  If you were able to do this in a few minutes a day, would you be interested?

How would reducing stress benefit you? We could begin with the obvious: tension doesn’t feel good.  We tend to be irritable and short-tempered when stressed.  Focusing is more difficult and just getting through the day is sometimes a challenge.  When we are able to breathe more deeply and relax muscle tension, we feel better and function better.

In addition, stress hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol, are pumping through the blood stream in excessive amounts.  If a tiger were chasing you, you would need them to ensure a quick getaway.  But it’s pretty rare that we need this extra burst of energy that stress hormones afford us.  And when they are chronically present, they cause real health problems.

The real consequences of stress include fatigue, depression, anxiety and physical pain.  It is now understood that excess stress is at the bottom of many serious chronic and life threatening illnesses.

Lifestyle changes can make a big difference.  Taking breaks, going on vacation (probably everyone’s favorite), meditating, using guided imagery are all important tools to implement. And addressing the underlying issues that are causing your stress in the first place is important too.

Some people who are constantly anxious because of stress may choose to use medications.  But possible side effects are a factor that you may want to avoid.

There are a number of programs for effective, safe and easy stress relief that are worth exploring.  I want to suggest that you may find yourself getting through challenging circumstances much more easily when you change your habits of reacting.  With a little practice you will likely also notice that you are generally functioning better and feeling happier.

As your habits of coping change, you will be assured that your health is improving.  Your improved outlook, increased energy and improved focus will tell you that you are on the road to recovery.



What Does My Dream Mean?

“Dreams are postcards from our subconscious, inner self to outer self, right brain trying to cross that moat to the left.  Too often they come back unread: ‘ return to sender, addressee unknown.’  That’s a shame because it’s a whole other world out there – or in here – depending on your point of view.”
~ Dennis Koenig and Jordan Budde~

This morning I met with my Dream Team for breakfast. A small group of friends and colleagues, we have been meeting every other Friday morning for years.  We formed the group after reading Jeremy Taylor’s book When People Fly and Water Runs Uphill.

Since I was a little kid I have been fascinated by the meaning of dreams.  I used to come down to breakfast and tell my siblings and parents about a dream that I had had, sometimes to some merciless teasing.  And now in dealing with conscious and unconscious minds professionally, my interest continues.

Taylor states that dreams always come in the interest of our health and healing, and they come to tell us something that we don’t already know.  While dreams dictionaries can be helpful, the meanings are always personal and come from your own frame of reference.

For instance, you and I may each have a dream about a cat.  The dream dictionary will have a sort of universal meaning perhaps.  But we each may have different experiences with cats in our lives, so the greater meanings will be personal to us.

If you want to learn to make use of this “night movie” that comes to you in your sleep, you can begin by training yourself to remember them.  Keep a paper and pen by your bedside, and as soon as you awaken, jot down the images, impressions and feelings that occur to you.  Later when you are up and about you can write about them more fully in your journal.

Dreams are amazingly ethereal.  Most of them we don’t recall.  And even when one is especially vivid or emotional, and you tell yourself you surely will remember it, it will often evaporate in the morning light.  If you get in the habit of jotting them down, you will find that you remember much more easily.

When you do write or discuss them, ask yourself, “What does my dream mean?”  Or “What does this image mean?”  You will be amazed at how answers that you may not be aware of will pop up.  And chances are, it will serve your life in some way.

Everybody’s Talking

She seemed a little self-conscious while explaining how she talked to herself, calming her anxieties, when I said, “Everybody is talking to themselves.”

“You should use that as a blog post topic!”  And so I am.  (Any blogger knows not to look the inspirational gift horse in the mouth.)

And of course it is true.  We all have some kind of dialogue going on.  It may seem like a sort of mental “wallpaper” that you are so used to that you aren’t even aware of it.  It certainly is part of what Wayne Dyer refers to as the habitual mind.

It will pay you to tune into it and become aware of it.  Why does it matter?  Because our self talk has such a huge impact on our emotions, moods and decision making.  It is the cause of much of our emotional reactions to what other people are doing and saying.  It is the source of the judgments or criticisms that we level at ourselves (and then often project them onto others).

If you are having a bad day, or are awake in the night feeling dreadful, check out what you are saying to yourself.  Chances are it’s bad news.  Telling yourself terrible things will alarm or depress you.  No surprise here.

Learn how to intervene.  Tell yourself firmly to STOP!  And saying it aloud can help.  Then change the subject…change the mental images that you’re creating.  Put in a reel of the mental movie that you intend for your life (as opposed to the one that terrifies or oppresses you).

If you have a well worn negative groove in your habitual mind, interrupting and changing your self talk is going to take some consistent practice.  But it pays off, and more quickly than you think.

Here is a resource that will help you do this with relative speed and ease.

The Long View

Do you ever feel like you are on a treadmill?  Get up, go to work, make the meals, mow the lawn, pay the bills, take the kids to school, feed the cat, etc. etc.  Then go to sleep, get up and do it all again.

My friend Lynn used to call it “running on the dreadmill.”

Every life has its routines, and those routines may be useful and necessary.  A kind of shortcut to what would otherwise be a ton of decision making.  And the routine ensures that the essentials of your life get covered.

The problem is that we can succumb to the tedium and before you know it, time is passing you by and you are living an uninspired life.  Time to shake things up.  It’s time to take the long view.

So here, I want to suggest, are some questions to ask yourself:  What am I doing here?  Who am I really?  Am I the human being that I want to be?  What is my life purpose?  What am I passionate about?  Are my passions being enacted in my daily life?  Am I doing anything that excites me, informs me or stretches my limits?  What am I supposed to be learning?  What is my soul’s purpose?

You’ll notice that the long view questions are of a spiritual nature.  Much of what we do in our daily routine is taking care of the physical, social and possibly the intellectual aspects.  They are necessary and I am not denigrating them.  Maslow would say that they are essential needs that have to be met on the scale of needs and developmental tasks.  And for some, that may be enough.

I recognize that there is an essential important assumption in my suggesting the long view approach, and that is that you would value digging deeper in order to live more consciously.  That is a decision that you have either already made or still need to make.

Some have chosen new life directions that will cause them to stretch and grow.  Because they are invested in becoming better human beings, they are willing to undergo the discomfort that comes with the territory.

If you do choose it, I promise that you will not be bored.  Nor will you suffocate in the tedium of daily life.  Amazingly, once the intention is formed, the people and resources that you need to explore and express yourself will appear in ways that you cannot have imagined.

Photo by Amy O Rizzo
Copyright 2010



Money Ahead

First health, then wealth, then pleasure, and do not owe anything to anybody.”   ~Catherine the Great

One of the factors in making any life change is money.  You may wonder why a life coach would bring up this topic that seems a domain of another kind of specialist.  And yet you would be hard pressed to find any topic that is so ever-present in most people’s minds and is so emotionally laden.

A couple of years ago, Joe, my friend and mentor and I were discussing how often issues of money are underlying the stresses of clients we were seeing.  Usually these people came for help with other problems in mind.  But it doesn’t take long for the money concerns to start popping up.

And so we decided that we were going to make a point of asking during the first few sessions about how our clients were feeling about money and how that might play a part in what was going on.  Are disagreements about money causing problems in the marriage?  Could money be a factor in job dissatisfaction?  Are fears about money making a life change even more difficult?

I began looking for tools to suggest to the people that I work with.  Providing resources for learning how to manage money, books about finances and wealth building became a part of my services.

Recently I came across some information about a new website of financial literacy education,
www.MyMoney.gov which provides resources to Americans for making personal financial decisions.  The site is available in both English and Spanish.

Users will find help in planning for life events that are going to have financial implications (and which ones don’t?).  They can also find information relating to their professional or personal situation.

The site provides money management tools including a calculator for savings, household budget worksheets and a college preparation checklist.




Tools for Change

Do you sometimes feel stuck in a mood?  Feeling irritable or blue?  If you are like most of humanity you do.  You may be telling yourself to snap out of it.  Or maybe someone who has been exposed to your mood and would rather not be has told you to snap out of it.

Sounds good.  But sometimes easier said than done.

I have discovered something useful that seems to work like a charm.  It has been around for awhile and gaining in popularity.  EFT or Emotional Freedom Technique, also called Meridian Tapping, is a method which makes use of the same energy system as acupuncture or acupressure.

You may be aware that your emotional state is bothering you by noticing a physical symptom.  A stiff back for instance.  Or a lump in your throat or a knot in the stomach.  Whether it’s anger, sadness, fear, it will announce itself in the body.

Perhaps you can feel the tightness but can’t really identify what emotion is there.  That’s really okay, because this method can bring you relief even as you figure it out.  Sometimes just clearing the symptom gives you some relief and ability to recognize what is bothering you.

The best part is that you can practice this EFT yourself.  You can learn it and make use of it on your own.  Or you can find a practitioner to help you learn it and take it to a deeper level.  However you use it, I think you will be pleased.  Find out more about it here:

http://tinyurl.com/yeh2fwj


Meridian Tapping: A Tool for Change

“We would accomplish many more things
if we did not think
of them as impossible.”

~Vince Lombardi~

 

Recently I came across a
very interesting resource for help in eliminating pain and clearing the way for
life change.  Actually I first heard of
Meridian Tapping or EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) years ago.  After my initial interest, for some reason I
forgot about it.   


For those who have
experienced acupuncture or acupressure, you will be familiar with the concept
of meridians, which are the pathways through the body which in eastern medicine
are believed to be the way energy travels through the body. 


For practitioners of energy
medicine, the approach to healing is holistic, addressing the needs of the
body, mind and spirit.  There is no
separation as there is in western practices where you go for help with the body,
mind and spirit to different specialists. 
 


Symptoms, which are
identified, then suppressed with drugs and therapies in western medicine, are
seen differently by energy practitioners. 
To a traditional acupuncturist for instance, a symptom is an indication
that you are out of balance.

This is
caused by a block somewhere in the meridian system.  

Points along the 7 meridians
or pathways are identified and either needles or finger pressure is applied to
the points. 

The treatment removes the
block, the bodymind returns to its natural balance, the symptom (which was just
a signal to you) is released, energy begins to flow as it should and your
health is restored.

 


This of course, is my rather
simplistic description of something ancient, complex and mysterious.  New attention is being paid to this old and
venerable system of treatment.  During
the past 5 years or so since my initial discovery of EFT or Meridian Tapping,
the movement has gained terrific momentum. 
 


Practitioners and interested
ordinary people are using it to address a wide range of issues including
physical pain and illness, mental illness, emotional problems, self-defeating
behaviors, addictions and manifesting desired life changes.
 

My “Inner Skeptic” would
find it difficult to believe that one method could be effective for so many
problems.  But having been a happy
recipient for years of acupressure and acupuncture, I knew that those
experiences were healing in a holistic way. 
I have been referring clients to practitioners of both for years.

 


Meridian Tapping or EFT adds
statements of belief that are affecting your health in all aspects of your
life.  So in other words, the cognitive
and emotional elements are added.  


If you are interested in
finding out more about this tool for healing your life, you can click here for
more information.   

 

 

Marking The Journey

"The spiritual journey is what the soul is up to while we attend
to daily living.  The spiritual journey is the soul's life
commingling with ordinary life.  The fabric tears:
the soul sees Monday. 
Monday sees the soul."
~Christina Baldwin~

Recently a new blog reader and virtual friend sent a message that one of his favorite books of all time is one written by Christina Baldwin entitled Life's Companion: Journal Writing as a Spiritual Practice.  I promptly bought it and am delighted that I did. 

Baldwin has a poetic style of writing, but is practical and permissive in her recommendations for journal writing.  More than a "how to" book, she leads by example by providing some of her own journal entries and also the anonymous journal contributions from friends and other writers.

The result is a lovely book that inspires as well as enlightens.  She points out that we are all embarked on a journey.  Just by virtue of being alive and experiencing what we experience, we are moving through different passages of life.

She writes:  "Marking passage is an ordinary process.  The journey is already ongoing; it's simply a matter of acknowledging it.  And the journal is an adaptable practice that can absorb as much or as little attention as you apply to it.  It will fluctuate cheerfully, without complaints.  The journal takes you and your journey as you are."

This was in the back of my mind today as I began my day with a brief journal entry.  I was feeling crowded by a too full schedule which I had created, and was feeling the need to get on with it.  No time for much reflection.

And three times today I heard myself suggesting to clients that they set aside some time for some quiet reflection and communion with the self.  And that they use their journals (blow the dust off) as a means of doing so.

What is it that makes this an effective tool for psychological change?  And what is it that makes journal writing a spiritual practice?  As Baldwin pointed out, we are already embarked on the journey.  And it will take us where ever it does.  But we have a choice about whether we want to make the journey in consciousness and whether we will form it with clear intention.  The journal is simply a means of observing ourselves and our lives.  And for taking responsibility.

The alternative is to drift unconsciously, repeating old patterns from blueprints that we inherited or learned in our formative years.  Continually reacting to circumstances and playing out the little dramas that captivate us.  Unfortunately, this is all too easy, and leaves us feeling vaguely disappointed and empty while wishing for more.

So I'll leave you with the challenge that I gave myself at the end of my too-long day.  And that is to clarify my intention to take some chunk of time daily to pause, breathe deeply, to read something inspiring, or to meditate, and to make a journal entry which observes and marks my journey for that day.

List of One Hundred Part II

"In moments of ecstasy, in moments of despair the journal
remains an impassive, silent friend, forever ready
to coach, to confront, to critique, to console.
Its potential as a tool for holistic mental health
is unsurpassed."

~Kathleen Adams~

Writing lists is a quick and practical way to write in your journal.  Lists are efficient and can't be beat for gathering information and getting quickly to the point.  We can have a positive focus and on small things.  Writing a list may also be a way to use possibility thinking, one of the tenants of Positive Psychology.

A year ago I attended a seminar by Kathleen Adams, Center for Journal Therapy, who was teaching participants how to use journal writing as a therapeutic tool.  She suggests that we use the list of 100 to explore one single topic.  Perhaps some "sticky wicket" of a problem that seems to be blocking our progress.  Or maybe we are in the throes of grief after a big loss.  Or it may be 100 Things I'm Proud of; or 100 Things I Enjoy. 

Writing such a list will certainly clarify your mind.  You will also notice certain repeating patterns in your thoughts, feelings and behaviors.  And while it may seem at first to be obvious and repetitious, I would suggest that you stick with it, ignor any repetitions, letting them be part of the process.  Very soon you will be diving beneath the surface of the obvious and into new territory.

And despite the length of the list (100 seems like a lot!) you will be able to write it in 20 minutes or so.  Remind yourself to just jot down whatever comes to mind.  You can sift, group them into themes later.

Try one of these:

  • 100 Reasons That I'm Still Smoking
  • 100 Reasons For Staying In My Present Job
  • 100 Current Stresses
  • 100 Things I Am Grateful For
  • 100 Reasons I Am Bearing a Grudge
  • 100 Fears About Money
  • 100 Reasons I Don't Stand Up for Myself
  • 100 Reasons For Not Meeting My Goals

Adams says that we can expect that the first third of the list is stuff that you know that you know.  The second third of the list are probably the real reasons or answers to the question.  And the last third of the list is often unconscious material related to the question. 

In short, the major benefit of writing the list of 100 is to reveal what is not obvious.  And when you reveal this to yourself, then you are in a position to make use of it to further understand yourself, to make goals and to set intentions.

Happy Writing!

List of One Hundred

"Begin challenging your own assumptions.
Your assumptions are your windows on
the world.  Scrub them off every
once in a while, or the light
won't come through."
~Alan Alda~

There is a journal writing technique called the List of One Hundred which has several interesting and useful applications.  I am currently listening to a book on CD written by David Cameron Gikandi which is entitled A Happy Pocket Full of Money.  In it he recommends the use of this exercise and suggests it be done in this way. I have added a few additional suggestions of my own. You might try it and see what develops.

In your journal writing time (which hopefully is by now becoming a routine in your life), take a few deep breaths to quiet and relax yourself.  Consider the longer view of your life beyond the present.  Ask yourself what would be a fantastic life? 

  1. List what you would like to have, do and be for the next 20 or 30 years.  Allow yourself to dream while you do this.  Avoid the traps of limiting beliefs when you can recognize them.
  2. Write the reasons why you would like to have, be or do that.   Tune into what it would feel like to have the experience of what you are writing.  How would you and others benefit?  Feel the emotions of that experience.
  3. Get pictures from brochures, magazines, snapshots, the Internet and put them in your journal.  Refer back to these pictures often, preferably two times a day.
  4. Read your list every day!  Visualize and meditate for 20 minutes twice a day allowing the images to animate your dreams.
  5. Then, here and now, do some small step that will take you closer to one of your goals.  Remember that what we give our attention to becomes bigger.  And the best way to focus attention on something is to take consistent action.
  6. Think, speak and act in gratitude.  I have many times made reference to writing a gratitude list every day, and this is a great way to begin.  Also telling your friend or family member about your gratitude will reinforce it.  And especially expressing your thanks to anyone who helps or encourages you, even if it is unintentional on their part, will reinforce it even more.  Notice that in our complaining we are too free to share our doubts and fears to others (talk about viral infections!).  Make a conscious practice of doing the opposite, and you and the entire planet will benefit.
  7. Enjoy the fruits of expressing your intentions and gratitude.  Enjoy
    experiencing the results as they occur.  Pay attention to what Carl
    Jung called synchronicities…those seemingly random and incidental
    occurrences that come into play when we commit to our dreams.

Gikandi recommends that you re-read your journal once a month, and that you re-read all your journals once a year.  This will help you see the gains that you are making in your life and show you the things that you might have missed.

In another post, I will tell you another interesting and helpful way to make use of another List of One Hundred.