Seasonal Light

Posted on December 19, 2011 by JanetEisenbise

December is the season of light in many ways. The Christmas star and “the coming of the Light” for Christians, and the Menorah for Jews who celebrate the Feast of Lights, are familiar parts of our celebrations. The winter solstice, the longest night, is just days away and will usher in winter.

I hear a lot of comments from folks who dislike getting up in the dark and driving home from work in the dark. Did you know that for some of us, this lack of light exposure has a real effect on our mental health? This goes beyond not liking snow and cold, or short days for that matter. The lack of light actually results in Seasonal Affective Disorder, or SAD for a significant part of the population.

It took years for me to figure out that I am one of those affected people. I knew I didn’t like winter, although I couldn’t say that it was snow or even the cold that bothered me. As it turns out, it really is a depression complete with symptoms that accompany a clinical depression that has been triggered by other causes such as long term stress.

Lack of energy, “brain fog” (my term for a sort of dull, slow cognitive function), sleep and appetite changes (carbohydrate craving anyone?), blue mood, feelings of helplessness and hopelessness, and lack of sex drive often are common. A high percentage of people with chronic insomnia are depressed.

These symptoms may appear as early as late September and last until sometime in March, when the days are long enough to give us adequate light exposure. SAD may be treated as any depression, with an increase in exercise and possibly even medication. But the easiest, most effective and least invasive way to solve the problem is with light therapy.

This requires full spectrum light, just as the sun has. Incandescent lighting that is typical for home use won’t work because they lack the full spectrum. Placing full spectrum bulbs on the ceiling in place of fluorescent lighting is also not effective because it it too far from the eyes to work.

The source of the light must be close enough to pass through the retina of the eye, which means your face should be about 12-18 inches from the source of the light. The best way to do this is with a light box which was made for just this purpose. There may be an advantage to having the light above the center of vision, at an angle, as a desk light might be. You may read or write while you use the light, preferably for 30 minutes in the morning.

Research has shown that light therapy is highly effective for folks suffering from SAD. Some will find an added benefit to taking Vitamin B-12. It is not recommended that you use the light late in the day or you may have trouble sleeping.

The best resource for high quality light boxes is http://www.sunbox.com/ which is recognized by the National Institutes of Health. They partnered with NIH in the research on the treatment of SAD, have been in business for 25 years. I have been using one of their light boxes for over 6 years, and have recommended them to many of my clients. If you contact them, you will find their customer service to be excellent, and they provide a money back guarantee on their products.

If you are feeling tired, glum and having trouble concentrating, using light therapy may be a solution. I highly recommend it, and am happy to read your comments or questions.

A Gift For Yourself

Posted on December 12, 2011 by JanetEisenbise

‘Tis the season, as they say, and most of us are preoccupied with family obligations, social engagements, decorating, cooking and gift giving. I certainly have more things written on my calendar this month than any other time, and I know I’m not alone. The “to do” list can get oppressive if we’re not careful. And doing those things on the list can also be exhausting and stressful.

You may be tempted to just accept that this is the way it is, and to think the stress is inevitable. But I don’t think it is. In fact, I would go so far as to say this is a choice. In the previous two posts I encouraged you to give some conscious thought to what gives meaning to the season to you. I understand the power of culture whispering in your ear, but it is possible to stop and challenge the thinking and resist the pressure to conform to perfectionistic images that you may think you “should” create.

Anyone who has experienced remorse over credit card debt in January may find the motivation to rethink options for gifts. Putting yourself in financial straits is not a healthy or happy practice for you or the recipient of the gift. You have an opportunity to think creatively for pleasing the ones you love. You could offer them a certificate for your services, such as car detailing or babysitting or some other task that they would enjoy. Or it could be for a home made dinner and a game night.

Whatever your holiday tradition, ask yourself what do you enjoy about it the most? Or what might that be if you would really allow yourself to enjoy it? When I asked myself that question, music was the answer. And so I have made it a point to hear more music this year., and to make music myself. Attending live concerts is the best! And I also dug out CD’s that I have stashed away and haven’t heard in a long time.

A friend of mine has been making it a point to really pay attention to her activities and her level of energy. She has avoided over-scheduling activities, and takes plenty of time to eat well, drink plenty of water and to rest. Imagine that! Actually resting! This of course means being willing to prioritize, say no to some invitations and to be mindful of where she is expending her resources of money, time and energy.

Being in touch with friends and family is something else that my be meaningful and important, especially during this season. I know there are lots of jokes about the obnoxious annual Christmas letters in which mom brags about Muffy or Buffy getting into Harvard. But I must say that there are several letters that I look forward to receiving every year, and I really appreciate the time and effort it takes to compose and send them. Knowing that others feel the same way, I consider writing and sending my own to be a gift to some people on my list. If connection is important to you, consider sharing the events of your life over the past year or years, and giving that gift yourself.

Whatever it is that gives this end of the year holiday season special meaning to you, I hope that you will put yourself on your gift list and be generous. It will improve your mood, I promise, and no doubt your health will benefit as well.

The Healing Power of Ritual

Posted on November 20, 2011 by JanetEisenbise

With the winter season approaching and the holidays coming with it, there seem to be a lot of traditions that are filled with rituals that we return to year after year. Some of them we do out of obligation, and some we might like to dispense with altogether. Whether we participate with eager anticipation or with resignation, the function of rituals in life is important.

Rituals seem to somehow anchor us in life. There is a sort of shorthand to understanding who we are and where we fit into our family, religious or social group. And while the rituals may be unique or very generally recognized and practiced, we instantly respond emotionally and sometimes spiritually.

In a world that seems sometimes to be changing with lightning speed, there is something comforting in taking the time and effort to share a meal featuring “the usual” food with people we know and love, even when liking them may be a challenge. Every family has their way of celebrating, and when new members are added, they are oriented to the rituals, and may bring their own to share.

When family relationships are strained, it can be a challenge to gather and be civil to one another, yet the sharing of holiday customs can be healing in that they remind us of history, experiences and values that we still have in common. Usually we may discover that we have much more in common with each other than the differences that divide us.

Children benefit from rituals and ought to be included in preparations according to their abilities. Did you know that something as simple as sitting at his/her own place at the table is a ritual that has been shown to make a huge advantage in children’s development? The rituals that the family observes help to anchor a child in life and to help them feel more secure with a sense of belonging.

And in fact, they help to make us all feel secure. For those who are going through challenging times, we may feel some comfort in observing traditions that go back to our earlier years. And as we grow and develop, we may discover that we need to develop new rituals that express our faith, our self and our love for each other.

I hope that you will be intentional in how you decide to celebrate. Consider what would be most meaningful to you, and discuss these ideas with those close to you. Be mindful of your needs and feel free to express yourself. Where ever and however you choose to celebrate, I wish you love and joy.

Letting Go

Posted on November 8, 2011 by JanetEisenbise

“There are things I can’t force. I must adjust.
There are times when the greatest change needed is
a change of my viewpoint.”
~Anonymous~

In my on-going attempt to curb the clutter in my life, I was cleaning out some files, pitching out some material that I used a long time ago but haven’t seen recently. I came across something that I once used when I facilitated a women’s group therapy.

I really have no idea where it came from. I’m guessing it came out of the 12 Step traditions in some form or fashion. Since I don’t know who to give credit to for it, I offer my apologies in advance. But I like it and find the concept of “letting go” a valuable tenant of a healthy and happy life, whether you consider yourself to be recovering, or a traveler on a heroes journey (as Joseph Campbell called it).

Here it is; I hope it is useful to you:

To let go doesn’t mean to stop caring; it means I can’t do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut myself off; it’s the realization that I can’t control another.
To let go is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.
To let go is to admit powerlessness which means the outcome is not in my hands.
To let go is not to care for, but to care about.
To let go is not to fix, but to be supportive.
To let go is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.
To let go is not to be protective, it is to permit another to face reality.
To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to effect their own outcomes.
To let go is not to deny but to accept.
To let go is not to nag, scold or argue, but to search out my own shortcomings and to correct them.
To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires, but to take each day as it comes, and to cherish the moment.
To let go is not to criticize and regulate anyone, but to try to become whatever dream I can be.
To let go is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.
To let go is to fear less and to love more.

Choose Life

Posted on October 29, 2011 by JanetEisenbise

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive,
and go do it. Because what the world needs is people
who have come alive.” ~Howard Thurman~

Candace was in my office last week, talking about her job and whether she should apply for a new position that had been posted. She was unsure that she qualified and whether she had a chance since she was just promoted a year ago. She would like the pay increase and the title would look good on her resume, but wasn’t sure that she would actually enjoy the tasks of the new position or the people she would be working with.

Candace is a young woman with a strong work ethic who complains about her job a lot. But she does like most of her co-workers, the tasks she does in her present job, and the reliability of working for a large public agency. Some of her co-workers have been there for 30 years. She is comfortable there and knows what to expect.

After a bit of considering what she would have to lose by applying for the promotion (nothing really), I asked her what she imagines she might be doing in 5 years, or 10 years. Could she see herself there 25 years down the road? She was silent as she considered my question. Finally she replied that she really had no idea.

So I will ask you, the reader, the same question. Where do you see yourself in 5 years or 10 years? What are the chances that you will be loving your life and what you are doing with it?

If we think about this at all, we often see it within the framework of a career or job. That’s fine, but expand the frame a bit to consider all aspects of your life. And then ask a second question: what brings you to life? What is it that enlivens you? Do you see yourself doing more of what brings you to life in your future? This is important because the questions and answers will make all the difference in the quality of your life.

Happy people tend to be involved in doing what they feel passionate about. They spend a good bit of time pursuing something that matters to them or has meaning to them. And passionate people tend to live longer, healthier lives.

This does not always necessarily correlate to your job or career, but even better if it does. Wouldn’t it be great to be one of those people who say they are so lucky to be paid for what they love to do? Or to be so passionate about what you are doing that getting a paycheck is icing on the cake?

However some may express and explore their passions through a hobby or through education that may or may not lead to a career change. Perhaps learning more about what intrigues you and teaching or telling others about it expresses your passion. You may also volunteer in a position that allows you to express your passion.

If you don’t already know, how can you discover your passion? Here are some things to consider. Write down your observations of the following:

Focus on what you appreciate in yourself, in others and in life in general.
Recall a time or experience when you felt happy. Who were you with? Were you alone? What were you doing? What was your environment?
What are you doing when you feel energized?
When do you feel most alert, aware or engaged?
The last time you were telling someone something that you were enthusiastic about, what was it?
Complete this exercise in your journal: If you were to wake up some morning, and by some miracle, everything in your life was just as you would want it to be, how would it be? Describe everything in detail and don’t leave anything out. What are you feeling as you write this?
What are your core values? What is most important to you?

Because the questions are such important ones, I encourage you to dedicate some time and attention to exploring them. The quality of your life depends on it. If you choose to live intentionally, and I hope that you do, thinking about them and discussing your insights with others will be helpful and stimulating.

For further help, you may want to buy a book called The Passion Test by Janet and Chris Atwood. Interesting and fun to use, it is thought-provoking and will shed more light on your quest for self-understanding and a richer life.

Dealing with the Nitty-Gritty

Posted on September 23, 2011 by JanetEisenbise

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then,
is not an act, but a habit.” ~Aristotle~

The other day a woman was telling me about her husband, who surprised her by announcing that he was going to clean the house. Not something that he typically does…or ever does, according to her. She had errands to run, and when she returned to the “cleaned” house, she saw that he had pushed everything to the perimeter of the living room and vacuumed the middle of the floor. And he called the job done.

We chuckled about this novel approach to house cleaning, but it occurred to me that it serves as a metaphor for life. And that probably if we care to take a peek into our own dark corners, we will likely find something akin to the husband’s method.

This morning I was looking around the office that I occupy, and when hunting for a file I need, was amazed to find all sorts of things that I jammed into folders thinking I would use it someday. Needless to say, I haven’t. There is a pile of paper in my “in basket” as well as in my “out basket.” (Would someone please remind me of how this organizational tool is supposed to work?) And I have to admit that I am behind in posting financial information that I will need for tax time.

But the middle of the floor is clean!

We do this in the figurative sense as well as the literal. “The devil is in the details,” as the saying goes. Those things you are procrastinating about have a way of piling up. How long have you thought about increasing the vegetables in your diet? Or making an appointment with the dentist? Or taking courage in hand and joining a meeting or group that you think would be interesting? Or meeting with a financial planner? Or having a conversation with someone that you are afraid might be touchy?

You can go on about the daily round of your life (the middle of the floor, so to speak) and not think too much about what you are pushing to the perimeters of your life. But those nitty-gritty details seem to speak to us. Sometimes in dream time, and sometimes in vague mounting anxiety or dread. Or sometimes someone else will bring it up, or a deadline is looming and you know it’s time to pay the piper.

Know this: some sort of resistance is at work here. And we all have to contend with our resistance. Perhaps it is an outdated negative belief that you hold. Perhaps it may be some shame or embarrassment that you haven’t tended to it before this. Or maybe the energy required to overcome inertia seems too much.

When you face it squarely and ask yourself what is up with this? (and take the time to listen to the answers) you will discover the root of your resistance. And when you do that, you are on the way to rooting it out and overcoming it. Use your journal to clarify your insight. Use Meridian Tapping or EFT to resolve and release the emotion and limiting belief that is stopping you.

You really don’t have to limit your success or happiness by hanging onto the burdens of negative belief. Affirm the kind of human being you want to be; clarify your intentions and then with courage take the baby steps every day to love your life fully.

Sorting Lead From Gold

Posted on September 16, 2011 by JanetEisenbise

“And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only
with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential
is invisible to the eye.”
~Antoine de Sainte-Exupery~

Fall is around the corner and wherever you live, you are probably aware of the changes that are underway. Most of us in the developed world, ever more engaged in technology, may live in ways that seem disconnected from nature. But of course we are not.

After all we are animals, and our lives are just as dependent and intertwined with the natural world as the migrating birds, butterflies and squirrels. The trees outside my window are beginning to drop their leaves, even though just a few of the outer branches have begun to change color. They have served their purpose for the growing season, and are no longer needed.

There’s a clue in that for us I think. Our lives have seasons of development and growth, as well as periods of rest and renewal. What is valuable, necessary and useful in one season is not in another. There are parallels in human life to those leaves which once were green, verdant and vital but then turn color and are dropped to the ground.

We may be tempted to hang onto them out of sentiment or not notice that they are no longer useful to us. Sometimes we are oblivious to what is going on right under our very noses! Or inside our minds and hearts, for that matter. Practicing mindfulness will tune you in to the immediacy of your state of mind and how your body feels as well as what is going on around you.

When you do, you can ask yourself what is valuable to you right now and what is not. It is important to ask yourself questions about what you want in your life and what kind of human being you intend to be. After all we are always in the process of Becoming, as Carl Rogers, humanistic psychologist, put it. And what was gold in your life 10 or 20 years ago might have turned to lead today.

Be discerning. That is what the energy of fall is all about. Assessing and clearing out is essential to the seasons of growth ahead. And what we are shedding and discarding may take on new usefulness and form, just as it does in nature. The dropped leaves become fertilizer for the plants and the tree’s growth in seasons to come. The dropped acorns feed animals and become the seed of new generations of trees.

If the lead in your life is in the form of an old negative pattern of thought and behavior, it is possible to release and replace it. You may quit making excuses for it and enjoy the gold of new patterns that will move you ahead in the life you desire. If it takes the form of old clothing, papers, books or other possessions, you can donate or recycle them and others will benefit too.

As you proceed in your sorting, discarding and organizing, you will notice a renewed energy within you. You will open up some space for being, thinking and creating. New inspiration will come as well as new insight. It’s okay to miss what is missing, although I doubt that you will grieve long. You may feel the need for rest and renewal (just as nature does) while you appreciate the beauty and tune into the messages of what new gold your life requires.