White Iris

It may seem to be a paradox that we work on meeting goals in order to change lives and at the same time aim to be happy and contented now.  Look ahead to the life we intend to create, while being mindful and present to where we are right now.

It is easy to fall into the trap of complaint, criticism and discontent when we compare where we are with where we wish to be.  I was listening to John talk about the financial mess that he faced in the aftermath of a bad relationship.  He was looking at a large credit card debt that he and his girlfriend had accumulated as well as loans that he had given her which he would likely never see returned.

It was quite a pile of rubble that was left from the choices that he had made, and he sorely regretted having made them.  He was going to have to take some drastic measures to prevent even further losses since paying his mortgage and a car payment was difficult.  And the creditors were calling.

As you might expect, he was feeling sad, angry and afraid.  And it didn’t help that he was continually berating himself for being so stupid as to have gotten into the situation.  He was deeply ashamed.

You might wonder if John would have to wait to feel better until after he had met his goals of cleaning up his debt and getting back on his feet again.  The answer is no.  And if he continues to berate himself and cause more internal negativity, achieving anything is going to be extremely difficult, if not impossible.

Here is where the power of gratitude comes in.  Paying attention to what is going right in your life makes all the difference.  And yes, no matter how huge the pile of rubble from the past is, there are things to be grateful for.  This may sound too optimistic to be believed, but bear with me.

If you are willing to be mindful of what is present to you NOW, you may notice small but important things that you have tuned out as you worry and stew.  It may be the beauty of nature, or the existence of your life and health.  Perhaps the kindness of someone you encounter, or some quality within you that you appreciate.  If you look and are willing to ask, there is help at hand, and we can always be grateful for that.

The “first aid” assignment that I gave John was to write a gratitude list every day, preferably at the beginning and end of the day.  After awakening, he was asked to think about those things and to breathe deeply and to FEEL gratitude.  He could observe that he felt more energetic and happy and that getting on with the tasks of the day was much easier.

This has been a spiritual discipline of mine for many years, and I recommend it to you.  Something simple yet powerful, expressing gratitude shifts our thoughts to the positive.  And since we become what we think about most, and bring into being what our thoughts are focused on, it can be a small step that will change your life.