Reduce Stress for Better Health

Posted on July 16, 2010 by JanetEisenbise

Would you like to ensure your health by reducing your stress level? If you were able to do this in a few minutes a day, would you be interested?

How would reducing stress benefit you? We could begin with the obvious: tension doesn’t feel good. We tend to be irritable and short-tempered when stressed. Focusing is more difficult and just getting through the day is sometimes a challenge. When we are able to breathe more deeply and relax muscle tension, we feel better and function better.

In addition, stress hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol, are pumping through the blood stream in excessive amounts. If a tiger were chasing you, you would need them to ensure a quick getaway. But it’s pretty rare that we need this extra burst of energy that stress hormones afford us. And when they are chronically present, they cause real health problems.

The real consequences of stress include fatigue, depression, anxiety and physical pain. It is now understood that excess stress is at the bottom of many serious chronic and life threatening illnesses.

Lifestyle changes can make a big difference. Taking breaks, going on vacation (probably everyone’s favorite), meditating, using guided imagery are all important tools to implement. And addressing the underlying issues that are causing your stress in the first place is important too.

Some people who are constantly anxious because of stress may choose to use medications. But possible side effects are a factor that you may want to avoid.

There are a number of programs for effective, safe and easy stress relief that are worth exploring. I want to suggest that you may find yourself getting through challenging circumstances much more easily when you change your habits of reacting. With a little practice you will likely also notice that you are generally functioning better and feeling happier.

As your habits of coping change, you will be assured that your health is improving. Your improved outlook, increased energy and improved focus will tell you that you are on the road to recovery.

Relationship Tips 101

Posted on July 14, 2010 by JanetEisenbise

Since the quality of the relationships we have seem to have the most direct correlation to the quality of our lives, then learning how to improve them may be a top priority. In short, those with the best relationships report greater health and happiness in their lives.

For those who are weary from the battlegrounds of married and family life, or those who are feeling bored and restless, there are a couple of very simple things that can make a difference. Of course I must add a caveat since just knowing these things won’t make a bean’s worth of difference. It is in practicing them consistently (preferably every day) that will change your life and your relationships.

Here we go:

You are likely focused on what is wrong with this person or people you are living or interacting with. If you can make a list of your aggravations with them, that is definitely the case. Since what we focus on gets bigger, your irritation and resentment will keep growing if you maintain your negative focus.

Make a list of what you do want. Think in concrete, simple outcomes. Be reasonable in keeping the person’s capabilities and personality in mind. Or as my niece has been heard saying, “Keep in mind who you are working with.” Tune into those qualities that you desire to experience in relationship with that person and write them down.

Play a new game called “Catch Them Doing Something Right.” Watch for the person to do something positive and be quick to express your appreciation for it. Acknowledge even small things with a quick thanks at least. Be quiet about infractions that you notice (breathe deeply and release your tension) and delay reacting. If it’s really important, set aside time to talk about it when you are calm and can be constructive. Pay attention to the positive qualities and behaviors and be grateful.

Focus on being the person that you wish to attract in others. Feel the feelings of peace or love or whatever you desire to experience with the other person or family members in the relationship.

When you do offer critical feedback, use what I call the “Kiss-Slap-Kiss Approach.” Begin with a truthful compliment acknowledging something you appreciate. Say in an assertive way (starting the statement with “I” not “you,”) what you want in the way of change. End in another compliment or positive comment.

You will soon be noticing a shift in how you are feeling about the relationship. First because it just feels better to be thinking and looking for the good in others. And when you are being what you desire, those qualities will be growing and becoming more a part of your daily life.

Build Better Business Relationships

Posted on July 12, 2010 by JanetEisenbise

Do some of your goals include success at work or increasing your income? If so, consider that one of the steps toward that goal will be to build better business relationships.

Regardless of your work place or the nature of your work, you cannot succeed without relying on other people. This may include co-workers or bosses if you are employed, or colleagues, customers or vendors if you are self employed. Give some of your time and attention to building relationships with these people, and your bottom line will grow.

Here are some tips to help you accomplish better business relationships:

Make your integrity obvious to whoever you are dealing with. This means keeping your word. Show up when you are supposed to. And if you promise to deliver, then do it without exception. Your actions will determine who you are in the eyes of the people who work with you, not what you say about yourself.

If something goes wrong and you can’t deliver, then communicate directly and clearly, taking responsibility without excuse making. Explain what went wrong and what you intend to do to fix the problem. Provide a new deadline and then keep your word. You may add some additional benefit to the person if that is appropriate.

Think about how you can add value to the persons in your network. Focus on over-delivering on what they may be expecting. Don’t be afraid to go beyond the basics of your agreement.

Practice good basic relationship skills. Make good eye contact, shake hands firmly, be friendly. Learn something about the other person’s interests, important relationships and concerns. Listen more than you talk, and share appropriately in a reciprocal way when they return your interest.

Avoid complaining and negative talk about other people, the company you may be dealing with, or anything else for that matter. Gossiping about someone else sends out an alert that the person you may be gossiping about next will be the one you are speaking with. Complaining may be the vogue, but it creates a bad environment for work and soon enough people will associate you with negativity.

Offer suggestions or ideas in the right time and place. Your good ideas will be received in a positive light when they are thoughtfully presented to the decision maker in the company you are dealing with. Take some time to think about who that person may be and how you may gain influence with them. Be respectful and present win-win proposals that demonstrate the benefit to that person or the company.

Give some thought to expanding your business social network. The more contacts you have and the better you attend to these relationships, the greater expansion for opportunities to build your business. Do you belong to a professional organization and if so, do you have contact with your colleagues? Think about joining a local group such as Business and Professional Women, or Rotary, or Kiwanis or a local business promotional and development group. Volunteer and get involved.

To improve your financial bottom line, remember this bottom line for business relationship building: ask yourself “How can I bring more value to this person’s life?” If you do that, you will soon be reaping the benefits of better business relationships.

What Does My Dream Mean?

Posted on July 9, 2010 by JanetEisenbise

“Dreams are postcards from our subconscious, inner self to outer self, right brain trying to cross that moat to the left. Too often they come back unread: ‘ return to sender, addressee unknown.’ That’s a shame because it’s a whole other world out there – or in here – depending on your point of view.”
~ Dennis Koenig and Jordan Budde~

This morning I met with my Dream Team for breakfast. A small group of friends and colleagues, we have been meeting every other Friday morning for years. We formed the group after reading Jeremy Taylor’s book When People Fly and Water Runs Uphill.

Since I was a little kid I have been fascinated by the meaning of dreams. I used to come down to breakfast and tell my siblings and parents about a dream that I had had, sometimes to some merciless teasing. And now in dealing with conscious and unconscious minds professionally, my interest continues.

Taylor states that dreams always come in the interest of our health and healing, and they come to tell us something that we don’t already know. While dreams dictionaries can be helpful, the meanings are always personal and come from your own frame of reference.

For instance, you and I may each have a dream about a cat. The dream dictionary will have a sort of universal meaning perhaps. But we each may have different experiences with cats in our lives, so the greater meanings will be personal to us.

If you want to learn to make use of this “night movie” that comes to you in your sleep, you can begin by training yourself to remember them. Keep a paper and pen by your bedside, and as soon as you awaken, jot down the images, impressions and feelings that occur to you. Later when you are up and about you can write about them more fully in your journal.

Dreams are amazingly ethereal. Most of them we don’t recall. And even when one is especially vivid or emotional, and you tell yourself you surely will remember it, it will often evaporate in the morning light. If you get in the habit of jotting them down, you will find that you remember much more easily.

When you do write or discuss them, ask yourself, “What does my dream mean?” Or “What does this image mean?” You will be amazed at how answers that you may not be aware of will pop up. And chances are, it will serve your life in some way.

The Still Small Voice

Posted on July 8, 2010 by JanetEisenbise

Lake Shore Chicago

There is more than one way of knowing something. Our reasoning, logical brain gathers information and retains it. I have said that western culture worships at the alter of the intellect, which may or may not be overstated.

Certainly we tend to trust the intellectual way of knowing more easily than the other.

And yet there is another part of the mind at work which is powerful in its own right. Intuition is defined by Webster as quick and ready insight. Or more fully, the power of faculty of attaining to direct knowledge or cognition without evident rational thought and inference.

Have you ever had a sudden insight or understanding of something that wasn’t making sense to you before? You may in fact have been getting contradicting information and then suddenly things fell into place? You just suddenly knew something but couldn’t explain how you knew?

It seems that this intuition or “the still small voice” may be more closely aligned to your spiritual and emotional life. It may provide needed guidance to what you really need. If you can hear it, it will steer you well past the rationalizations and habitual patterns that may be keeping you stuck.

How can you develop this valuable asset? Primarily by acknowledging it. If you name it and pay attention to it when it speaks, you will begin hearing it more frequently. You will also need to create some space in your busy-ness and the torrent of chatter going on in your mind. Breathing to relax and sitting quietly is good. A little while in meditation is even better.

One of the best tools for developing your ability to hear this inner voice, is your journal. Make a note of what occurs to you that seems outside your usual rational way of thinking.

It may come in a dream, or right before you go to sleep or upon awakening. It often occurs in the shower or when you’re driving or doing something routine like washing the dishes. Right brained activities such as these seem to make space for them to occur. When intuition comes to you, write it down.

You can check back later to see if this thought was on target. Or you can develop and play with it in your journal. Remember that what we pay attention to gets bigger. Soon you will find this valuable inner resource showing up more and more in your life.

The Love of Comfort

Posted on July 6, 2010 by JanetEisenbise

We all seek comfort, no doubt about it. And we certainly need it in this age of what I call normalized stress. We almost take for granted that we are going to be tense and exhausted and irritated in our daily lives. And when we are, we need to seek relief to avoid damage to health and quality of life.

But there are times when seeking comfort is a short road to broken dreams. A degree of discomfort comes with the territory of growth and development. Any adult going through a transition is going to experience discomfort. And big dreams really require us to stretch way out of our comfort zones.

We not only have to feel creative tension, we have to work with it or we will never experience the changes we desire. Your body mind may be interpreting this tension as unpleasant or even dangerous. And so at least unconsciously we are directed to make a big U-turn on the road to progress.

Can you think of a goal or project that you have abandoned mid-stream? Ever start a challenging class and drop out? Do you have unfinished projects that got the better of you and are languishing in your basement or attic or back in the closet? Did you take a nap and never get back to it?

We usually have lots of ways to rationalize this. The one I hear most often is “I’m too busy.” What we are usually too busy with are the daily routines that we complain about all the time.

Staying on the couch in front of the TV is certainly safe and comfortable. Hours can go by before you get up and go to bed. There is a reason that TV is called the “great hypnotic.” You can disappear inside it and never know you are gone. It’s hard to stay conscious in front of it.

I want to suggest that you learn to accept, acknowledge and work through the necessary discomfort that comes with the goals you have set. Instead of avoiding it, embrace it as a sign of progress. A sign that you are moving and that you are moving in the right direction.

Focus on the possibilities in your new endeavor, and open yourself up to the inspiration and help that comes when you do.

Caregiving Self Care

Posted on July 5, 2010 by JanetEisenbise

For those who are in the Baby Boomer generation, there are a lot of reminders that life can change on a dime. Our parents can have sudden health challenges that require our assistance. And our peer group, spouses and friends are of an age when that is occurring more frequently than it used to.

For the one having a health crisis, sometimes the changes are breathtaking to say the least. For instance I have a colleague who suddenly lost his hearing. Not a good thing for someone who listens for a living.

You may have a parent whose abilities are compromised by a stroke, surgery or possibly a fall, and they are at least partially dependent on help to see them through the day. And so if you are the one to be the caregiver, your life will change on a dime too.

This change can be overwhelming, and even though you may be willing to offer care, your own self care needs to be seriously considered. How will you manage caregiving your relative or friend and still take care of everything you already do?

First identify roles that need to be filled to carry out the tasks to be done. I would say that there needs to be a sort of “general contractor,” or “case manager,” the person who oversees and coordinates the jobs that need to be done. If the person who is sick is capable of doing this her/himself, then allow her to or assist by asking questions and taking notes. Begin to shape a plan, and keep the calendar, pencil and eraser on hand.

Some tasks that will need to be done may include medical exams and treatments, driving to appointments, preparing and serving meals, grocery shopping, pet care. cleaning and laundry and personal care. Possibly some in-home accommodations will need to be made. Or arrangements for physical therapy or home health care. They may also need visitors or some other kind of social interaction if they are able to be out and about.

Get some help, whether it is through the doctor’s office or Area Agency on Aging. Possibly health insurance or long term health insurance may be used to line up professional help in the home. Ask for names and contact information for people in the social network who may be willing to do some instrumental help or even just visit or send cards. Staying in touch with the outside world is essential for the mind and spirit.

Define your own role and make sure that you have support from your own network of friends and family members. Take time to pursue your own interests and take time off. If you are having to drop activities while you give care, remember to periodically check in with others in that group. Through email, social networking or phone calls, see what is going on so that when you are able to resume, you will be able to slip back in.

Don’t feel guilty about venting your emotions over caregiving. Anyone who has experience with this will know how frustrating, lonely and overwhelming it can be. These emotions can be compounded with guilt, as if you should not be feeling sad or angry or overwhelmed in caring for the person you love. I would say those feelings are not only natural but unavoidable. After all, this is your life which has been turned upside down too! Talking with others in the trenches helps.

As you talk about it with others, you will also get suggestions for resources, ideas for coping and recommendations for services and medical care that you would never have otherwise thought of. Keeping in touch with your own social group will pay off in maintaining your own health as you avoid social isolation.