More Positive Psychology
Summer in Maine
Have you wondered how you might improve your ability to make desired changes more quickly? Positive psychology coaching may offer a way to do this. There are two key components of learning new ways of thinking and establishing new patterns of behavior.
One is being open and accepting of new learning. Often we think we know already, and are closed off to new information or a new way of looking at something. Our need to be right will block off the opportunity to learn. What do you do when confronted by a different opinion or point of view? Do you immediately reject it outright?
It is important to understand that our patterns of thought and behavior are often so well established that we have no idea where they even came from. Wayne Dyer calls this “habitual mind,” and we all have acquired it from our early upbringing and are often not even conscious that we are using it.
Are you judgmental and argumentative when you hear something new that contradicts the way that you habitually see things? Then you are close-minded and missing an opportunity to widen your perspective and take in something new that could help to change your life for the better. You can become aware simply by asking yourself a question and observing the answer: “How open am I to new learning?”
The second factor is your willingness to accept change. I hear lots of people who are miserable with their life situations and want to analyze and analyze why but are immediately resistant to changing anything. They often even say how they hate change! And yet life itself is a process of change, isn’t it? If we’re not growing and changing, we are dying.
The resistance comes up in the form of explanations and excuses and reasons. I can’t make more money because my company has eliminated raises this year. I can’t learn Spanish because I’m no good at languages. I can’t exercise because I can’t afford a gym membership. I have a lousy social life because there aren’t any good men (or women).
Here is another good question for you to ask yourself: “What am I willing to give up in order to achieve this?” Would you give up watching TV in order to work a part-time job in the evening or weekend? Would you get out of bed an hour earlier in order to go for a walk before you get ready to go to work? Would you plan a menu and cook a little rather than eating fast food? Would you give up hanging out in the evenings in order to take a class?
Talk about resistance to change! We get mighty uncomfortable when we even THINK about changing our routines! Those well-worn habits have made neuropathways in the brain which means the thoughts-emotions-actions are so automatic that we don’t even have to think about them. And now changing them is awkward and uncomfortable!
But the good news is that we can apply positive psychology and make use of the plasticity of the brain. Meaning that those neuropathways are much more flexible that we once knew. Opening yourself up to new thoughts and practicing new behaviors will strengthen you and increase your resilience.
As you practice them, they will eventually become second nature to you. New goals will be achieved and new growth will occur. When you accomplish these, step by step, you will have the satisfaction of knowing that you are succeeding. And you have used positive psychology to do it.